Once Upon a Time, before it was Christmastime, Gosh-You’re-Really-Not-That-Small-Anymore’s Teacher asked The ProlificProjectStarter if she would make a spider costume for the nativity play.
While they were talking about costumes, the teacher mentioned that she would really like to have the time to make a ladybird costume for the children to wear as they had been looking at the book What The Ladybird Heard (and surprisingly it turns out that primary school teachers don’t have very much time on their hands these days).
Gosh, thought ProlificProjectStarter, that sounds a lot more interesting than doing all the things I’m meant to be doing and before she realised what was happening she was planning to make a ladybird costume as well as the two king costumes and a spiders costume for the nativity play. Except she thought she’d make the spider costume first to try out an idea, but in the mean time she could make some of the other animals from the book, a pig, a cow, a sheep, two cats, a dog……
Well, time passed (often in a blur with some screaming about being served vegetables and the like thrown in) and one day ProlificProjectStarter thought “I really ought to finish off those costumes I started”, which were just a white badly blind hemmed rectangle and a pink badly blind hemmed rectangle (she’d been using the costumes to practise her curtain making technique at the time) that were going to be a cow and a pig costume, oh and there were also a bunch of idea’s whizzing around her head. But then she realised that her daughters class weren’t looking at What The Ladybird Heard anymore, now they were looking at the story of The Three Little Pigs.
So the ProlificProjectStarter dug out the pink rectangle, and the rest of the bargin piece of pink fabric that cost a £1 from the scrapstore and some pink felt from the scrapstore and some garden wire and she made Three Little Pigs costumes, with neckholes finished with bias tape (as she is learning all the time) that was cut from her horribly pink Tova muslin, elastic tabs at the sides from her stash (but don’t tell anyone that some of the elastic that came from her grandmother in laws stash looked suspicously like recycled bra straps) to help keep them on and make them easy to take on and off, pink curly tales that were tapered rectangles of felt sewn around garden wire (with folded over ends to prevent injury) and twisted, and pink felt noses with zig zag nostrils and elastic to keep them on.
She showed them to her children but instead of saying thank you they said “but where is the Big Bad Wolf”?
So she went back to her stash and found some mysterious black hemmed cottonish fabric that she had Never Seen Before and some black Fake Fur from the Scrapstore that sheds like crazy when you cut it and she looked in her Sew Chic Kids pattern book and
nicked traced the hood of the parka and the neckline to make a hooded tabbard, held together at the sides with the waistband that was cut off the old leggins used for the spiders legs, and she made an ever so slightly tapered fake fur tail and some wolf ears made from triangles of fake fur with slightly smaller triangles of felt to be the inner ear and she tried many times to sew them on so they didn’t look like rabbit ears but she didn’t quite manage it so she added a wierd hanging down fake fur muzzle type thing with a felt nose on the end and decided she’d done all she could and went to bed.
But in the morning “But why is the wolf black not grey” said the children “and where is the Mummy pig outfit”?
“Oh s*d this” thought the ProlificProjectStarter “I can’t be bothered any more, there is no grey fabric in my stash and there isn’t enough pink left for another pig and how would such a simple costume differentiate between mother pigs and little pigs anyway” and she sent the costumes in to school where they were played with and the Harrassed Teacher with a Large Workload seemed to appreciate them and then the ProlificProjectStarter decided to do some sewing for herself as she would appreciate all the effort she made.
And what did she make? Well, that is a story for another day……